The start of a new school year can bring about a lot of change for all kids. Maybe your child is starting in a new school and doesn’t know many other kids or maybe they got put in a class with a lot of new kids that they don’t know. Or maybe you have a really shy kiddo who is so nervous about all the unknowns of this upcoming school year. Not knowing other kids can feel very scary for kids. I mean, as an adult I still get a bit anxious about being in a new situation with a lot of people I don’t know. During my years running social skills groups, I found there were a tremendous amount of benefits of reading picture books to kids about topics that might be hard for them to talk about. What I have noticed is that if you find the right book, kids will talk about tricky things more easily. I think that when kids can problem solve about tricky situations when it is about a character, they are more successful than when they are talking about themselves. Often times, sensory sensitive kids feel a lot of shame when they have done something wrong and more often than not, it is out of their control and the sadness that they feel following is pretty intense. It’s important to remind these kids that you recognize that they have to work much harder at certain things than their friends or siblings might and that the grownups around them will do everything they can to help them.
With school starting (or maybe it has already started for you), I have a lot of
parents looking for resources to help their children prepare for all the new things that their children are about to experience. I have put together a list of great children’s books that you can read to your kids as they prepare for the new school year. The books talk about the importance of friendship, how to resolve conflicts with friends, how to be courageous and try new things and the importance of kindness and empathy. Please see a handful of my recommended books that focus on social emotional lessons that could help your little ones with all the transitions.
When A Friend Needs A Friend-the major friendship lesson in this book is about being able to understand and respect when a friend might need space or time when they are feeling big feelings. It also talks about how sometimes it’s not about fixing the problem for your friend but making sure they know that you are there for them and care about them. In this beautiful picture book, we follow best friends Oskar and Aya who love to spend time together building things and sharing stories. When Oskar is feeling sad, he goes quiet and withdraws which is confusing to Aya. She tries to make him feel better by sending him paper airplanes until he feels better and is ready to play again. It’s important for kids to understand that their friends might have big feelings and it doesn’t mean that they did anything wrong. This is a great book to talk to your kids about what they can say or do when they see someone having a hard time.
Ways To Make Friends-through humor, this book helps kids learn different ways that they can make new friends. This book is about Toad who believes he has the most magnificent ways to make new friends. However, things don’t always go according to plan when it comes to his ideas. After a while of trying, he takes a break and realizes that it’s exhausting trying to make new friends and that just being by yourself sometimes isn’t the worst thing. This is a great book to read to kids who might be shy or have a harder time making friends. It can give them some ideas to test out but also let’s them know that watching from the sidelines and waiting for the right friend isn’t such a bad thing.
Be A Friend-this is one of my favorite books about being kind and open to being friends who might be different than you. It follows Dennis, a kid who communicates by being a mime and his attempts at trying to make friends. While being a mime isolates him from his peers at first, he is able to find a friend in a little girl named Joy who embraces his creativity. What I love about this book is that so many of the kids I work with who are going into these new schools with no old friends may communicate differently than their peers. They might stutter, or have a hard time getting their words out or maybe they just don’t talk until they find someone who shows them kindness and understanding.
I’m Sticking With You-in this adorable picture book, kids learn about how friends can still be friends even if they are very different from each other. It also talks about the ups and downs of friendship and how to work through those tricky moments. This story follows Squirrel and Bear….very good friends who are not only different in looks and size but also in their personalities. They have a frienship motto “Wherever you’re going, I’m going too. Whatever you’re doing, I’m sticking with you.” But when squirrel decides he needs some alone time and some space from Bear’s larger than life personality, it causes some friendship trouble. In the end, they realize that they are better together and realize just how important their friendship is to each other.
Big Friends-the overarching themes in this book is that friendship can take work to maintain and that sometimes it’s important to let new friends into your group. This book focuses on the friendship between two little boys, Birt and Etho. These boys love to be together and their favorite thing to do is build things out of cardboard boxes and engage in imaginative play. This dynamic becomes disrupted when a new friend, Shu, wants to join in the fun. While Birt initially struggles with the change, he eventually embraces the new dynamic when Etho and Shu create a multi-box contraption that expands their play and their fun. I love that this book teaches kids about being flexible, taking other people’s ideas and how when you work and play all together, so much more fun can be had.
The Snurtch-this is a great book to read to children who have regulation and self-control challenges and explores what happens to a child when they have a hard time managing their big feelings and emotions. This book is about a little girl named Ruthie who has a problem at school, but it’s not the students, the classroom, or the academics. It’s the Snurtch, a creature that embodies her negative impulses and behaviors. The Snurtch is described as “scribbly, scrunchy, grabby, burpy, and rude”. It throws pencils, makes rude noises, and crumples up classmates’ drawings. While Ruthie blames all of her actions on the Snurtch, the drawings show that Ruthie is actually the one doing all of the negative things. When Ruthie shows one of her classmates a picture of the Snurtch and tells them about him, her friend makes her realize that they all have a bit of a Snurtch in them and she learns how to control her feelings and behaviors with the support of her friends.
A Little Bit Different-in this adorable picture book, kids learn about the importance of being different and being accepting of someone who might be different than you and that sometimes being different can be a beautiful thing. This story follows the Ploofers, a group of pals who love doing things together. When one of the Ploofers decides to do something different, the others are confused and reject the unique Ploofer. Eventually, one of the other Ploofers recognizes just how special and beautiful that other Ploofer’s action was which leads to all the others being able to accept and celebrate that difference. It’s important for kids to see that it takes just one act of kindness and acceptance to lead to a bigger group acceptance.
You Can Be a Good Friend (No Matter What!): a Lil TJ Book-the main focus of this book is being comfortable being an individual, overcoming anxiety in new situations and the importance of being a good friend and not a bully. This book follows Lil TJ on her first day of school. TJ is a bit quirky and has her own unique style and when she gets to school, she realizes she isn’t quite like everybody else and that she stands out in all the wrong ways. When her classmate Beau notices, he begins to make fun of her which causes her to become super anxious and question who she is. Remembering advice from her Grandma Patsy, TJ is able to recognize that her unique personality and creative ways make her who she is and uses that wisdom to make new friends. This is a great book to read if you have a child who is anxious about starting the new school year and worrying that they are not like everyone else.
The Day The Crayons Made Friends-another wonderful book featuring the crayon characters from The Day The Crayons Quit that talks about the importance of friendship, being curious and being open to new possibilities. Told through letters written to their owner Duncan, we learn about the adventures the crayons go on to make new friends. This includes one of the crayons driving a firetruck, one of them meeting a fashion doll and one of them taming a teddy bear.
Even Better Than Sprinkles-the main friendship lessons covered in this book is the value of friendship, kindness and how important it is to be a good friend through situations that your children could relate to. It also talks about how to repair friendships when something goes wrong. The book follows the adventures of a set of best friends and their ups and downs and how simple acts of kindness can help during the downs. It talks about the importance of saying your sorry and celebrating and taking care of your best friends even when you don’t agree on things.
After reading books, it is great to have conversations and ask questions. Asking questions after reading improves comprehension, encourages critical thinking and helps to ensure that your children are retaining the information from the book. It also encourages active engagement with the text, prompting deeper reflection on themes and the characters. Additionally, it helps connect the reading material to personal experiences and prior knowledge, making the reading experience more meaningful. For example, you might share a story about when you were little and experienced a similar thing from the book and tell your children how you worked through that challenging time. For children who present with processing or language delays you might tell prepare your child before reading and tell them the one or two questions that you will be asking them so they have time to think about their answers. Another strategy is to talk to your kids every few pages and see what they have noticed. This would be great for younger children or those that have language or processing delays.
Here are a list of questions you can ask your kids post reading:
1. What was one thing you learned about being a friend from the book?
2. What do you think the biggest problem was?
2. Have you ever had anything happen to you similar to what happened to any of the characters in the book?
3. What would you have done if you were in the same situation as (name the character)?
4. What was your favorite part of the book?
5. Did any of the characters change from the beginning of the book?